Happily Every After

I’m a Disney fan, and I watch movies that generally have a happy ending.  My favorite Princess is Belle, from Beauty and the Beast.  I like her because she was able to look beyond what people see, to see the person inside.  I wish more people were able to do that.  I wish they could get to know someone before they judge, but I digress.  Belle and her Beast got a “happy ending”, but we don’t know how they did after things got back to normal.  Living happily ever after isn’t easy, and takes work, so I hope they did make it but I know not everyone lives happily ever after.

It’s clear in my work that happily ever after is in the eye of the beholder.  It also seems clear that people can live a happily ever after if they work at it.  No one falls into a happily ever after.  With the recent royal wedding, we got a vision of the fairy tale, but everything comes at a cost.  Not everyone could live the life of a royal, but we can all have that happily ever after.  When I ask people in treatment about the life they wish they had, it usually starts with enough money to pay bills and enjoy things.  Others talk about having someone to share things, or to enjoy outings.  Others just want to be free of medical issues that limit their functioning.  Everyone has a different dream, and no dream is better than others.  It’s just about what matters to you.

Some people don’t get their happily ever after.  For many different reasons, they can’t make things work and they struggle every day to just survive.  For them, things often seem hopeless, and depression can be significant.  They have often tried to make changes in their lives but for whatever reason, it’s hard.  Sometimes it’s financial, and other times it’s motivation.  Motivation to make changes in your life is hard to come by, especially when the risks and the changes are scary.    Change is hard for most people, and it’s easy to live the life you know.  Taking a risk can sometimes make things worse for a awhile, but then it can make things so much better.

When you think about your happily ever after, what does it look like?  Who does it include?  Is your vision possible?  Don’t focus on the negative when you answer that last question.  Focus on the positive.  Focus on taking the time to make changes in your life and to start working on your happily ever after.  Your vision could take awhile, but it will be worth the wait if you can stick with it.  Maybe you can go back to school, and get the degree you always wanted.  You could also learn a trade that could secure your future, and help your family in ways you didn’t think possible.  You could also work on yourself and finally be the person you were meant to be.  You could find that special person to enjoy the future.  So many things become possible when you think about your happily ever after.

Don’t give up on your happily ever after.  First, figure out what it is, then start working on how to make it happen.  Remember that it can change over time, and you can adjust as you need to adjust.  Don’t give up, and have fun!  It’s all part of being happy, for life.