Today is Mother’s Day, and for many it is a blessing, and a curse. I’m am lucky to have my mother still with me. She has been strong and supportive throughout my life, and I am so thankful for all the things that she taught me. My mom wore many hats, just like I do today, but she did it with grace and dignity. She provided support and counseling when I needed it, and she provided punishment and redirection when I deserved it. She continues to be a calming force in my life, and I can’t imagine how I will manage if I ever have to say goodbye.
I know, from working with people over the years, that some cherish this day, and others hope to avoid the pain that comes with it. It’s a day to think about your mom, but that’s painful when you also have to acknowledge that your mother is no longer with you, due to death or her choices. To those out there who lost your mother due to death, my heart goes out to you on this day. I have talked and worked with people who struggle today, feeling the loss over again, every time this day comes. Some feel guilty, thinking about what they should have done, or what they could have done. Others are angry at God for taking something so precious away. Whatever the feeling, the loss is painful.
For those who had to cut ties with their mother due to her actions or issues, the day isn’t any less hard. Whether their mother has passed or is still alive with no contact, it’s still a loss. Mother’s are to help their children, throughout their lives, with words of wisdom and guidance. Without the safe harbor, people tend to flounder. I remember a coworker, who lost both his parents, talking about feeling like an “orphan”. Parents tend to give you a tether to the world. Sometimes the apron strings tend to be little tight, but they help you find your way home if that’s the place for you, but if it isn’t the best place for you, it is a loss.
No matter what the circumstance, mark the day, and celebrate the mother you have, or a mother figure that you choose. Visit you mom and tell her how much you care and how she helped you. Mark the day somehow, and grieve the mother that you wanted. Get flowers to have at home to mark the day. Write a poem in remembrance. Get out pictures, but mark the day in a way that helps you feel connected to special part of Mother’s Day.
To my mom, thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for believing in me, and trusting me. Thank you for being there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and when I needed someone just to hear me when I was excited and needed to tell someone. Thank you for your advice and patience, and for your continued love and support. You are part of what makes me happy for life!