Malea sat in her car just letting the tears fall.  On some level she was grieving her marriage, but on another she was grieving the person she thought she would become and the life she thought she would create.

Malea sat for a bit longer, regained some composure and pressed on to her destination. The weather was cold but clear, and Malea was glad that she wasn’t driving through snow, or an ice storm, as she had done so many times before.

Her stomach started to flutter as she got closer to her destination. She pulled into the driveway of her first stop and just sat in the car.  She thought about how many times over the years she had been in this very spot. She felt the tears again, so she put her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes, trying to keep her sobs at bay.

As she worked to calm her tears, a soft knock on her window startled her.

She jumped, then exhaled when she saw the bundled-up figure standing outside. The face was older now, a little rounder, smile lines deeper—but impossible to forget. Malea opened the door.

“Mal?” the woman asked gently. “Are you okay?”

Malea let out a breathy laugh, wiping at her face again. “Hey. You scared me!”

“I have been waiting for you,” Shelly said, her expression warm. “I’m so glad to see you.”

Malea stepped out of the car, hugging her friend. “Me too.”

Her best friend pulled her into a hug without hesitation, and something inside Malea softened. It felt good, so good, to be held by someone who knew her before life had had gone so terribly wrong. Shelly had known Malea for years, even before her marriage.  She knew some of the events over the last few years, but there was so much more.

After a moment, Shelly leaned back. “I think you could use some cocoa. You wanna go get some? Warm up a bit?”

Malea hesitated. Part of her wanted to curl up alone and let the tears drain out until she was empty. But another part, the part she came home to revive, craved connection.

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “Cocoa sounds good.”

They got into Malea’s car and off they went. Malea continued down familiar roads to a café that she remembered. Snow flurries began to drift lazily through the air, catching in the headlights like tiny sparks. As she drove, something inside her shifted. It wasn’t joy, not yet. But it was something like readiness.

When they reached the little café on Main Street, Malea felt a strange mix of fear and comfort. Walking through the door felt soothing.  She thought about all the times she sat in a café, studying and talking to people. She thought about poetry slams, listening to music, and watching sports. For some reason, she remembered a weekend where a bunch of people were watching hockey at her apartment complex.  She remembered taking the furniture outside so they felt cold.  She smiled to herself at the memory.

They ordered their drinks and settled at a corner table. Shelly broke the quiet by asking the first question.

“How are you, really?”

Malea hadn’t even started to answer when the tears started to fall. Her reaction was a surprise to her, and for a moment she didn’t have control of her emotions.  She hadn’t realized how raw she really was until that moment.

“Not good, obviously,” she finally replied.

After a moment, Shelly reached across the table and touched her hand. “You don’t have to tell me everything right now. Just know I’m here. And I’m so glad you’re home.”

Malea swallowed hard, emotion swelling in her throat. She nodded.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I think…I think I’m ready to figure myself out again.”

And for the first time in months, she meant every word.

After some time, Malea was finally able to manage her composure, and the two friends talked about old memories, current plans, and hope for the future. They laughed about stories from college, and shared memories that neither had thought about in years. Malea needed this conversation.  She needed to feel the connection and hope. Malea began to understand how lonely she had been, and how much she needed friends and people.

After a renewing conversation, Malea and Shelly finally headed back to Shelly’s home.  Malea thanked Shelly for the conversation, and years of support. In that moment, Malea understood what part her friends and family would play in her healing, and she was so thankful.