James sat cross legged on the floor of his living room, taking note of the wreckage of his life.  His marriage was over, and his job was at risk.  He didn’t know what to do, but he knew that he had decisions to make.

As he scanned the room, he saw pictures from the past, happier times when things were good. He thought about his focus over the last few years, to save his marriage, and all the things he had done to try to make that happen.  He tried everything he could think of, from the house he was living in, to sacrificing his own happiness to try to improve his marriage, but none of it worked. 

His depression was so overwhelming that it was hard to get out of bed.  He was having trouble sleeping and his appetite was low.  It was hard to concentrate at work, with everything on his mind, and he was beginning to see the issues affecting his productivity.

He thought about how happy he was the day he got married.  At the time, he dreamt of growing old together, walking down the beach hand in hand.  He wanted the dream future, including rocking chairs on the porch watching the sun set, but had faded, just like the sun on a warm afternoon.

He wasn’t quite sure when things went wrong.  He could see cracks happening over the years, but he was hopeful that they would be able to patch the cracks and save the structure.  Turns out, that wasn’t to happen.

Many couples grow together, sharing focused goals and interests.  He and his wife grew apart over the years.  He wanted to travel and experience everything.  He had always wanted to go hiking, see parks and museums, and learn to kayak, but his wife wasn’t interested in any of that.  He wanted to go dancing and listen to music, and be a part of a larger purpose, but it was not to be.

Now, as he tried to do things he enjoyed, it seemed to hurt more than help.  It just made him sad to watch couples walking hand in hand down the beach, laughing and talking.  He stopped going for a time, because it was too hard to see, but he knew that isolating himself didn’t help.  At this point, he needed the experience to give him hope for the future. 

James felt alone, as he continued to look around the room.  He was startled back to the present when he heard his wife coming from her bedroom.  They were still living together, in the same house, and that was becoming a problem.  He listened as she walked to the bathroom, and then back to the bedroom.  They hadn’t slept in the same room for months and were more like housemates than spouses. Their finances were still entangled, and they still talked, but the connection was gone.

James needed to decide what the future would hold. They had talked about divorce, but neither wanted to file.  The pain was fresh, and the realization of where their relationship stood was still being processed by both.  He thought that maybe living apart would be best, but there were technicalities making it difficult. 

As he sat thinking about the future, he struggled to develop a plan.  He didn’t know what to do.  He knew that his marriage was likely over, but he didn’t want to make a bad decision.  He wanted to take time to look at all the options and choose the best for him.  He knew his wife was doing the same thing, but in her own way. They both had things to consider, and it would take time to unravel their lives, and move into what was to become.