Happiness can be elusive. For many, it can be hard to find and hold on to.  It’s hard to define and is different for everyone.  When you think about your happiness and your future, you have to remember that as you build your version of happiness it should be for you and no one else. It should involve others, from family to friends to others, but it should be what you want it to be.   So consider these issues as you make your plan.

Nobody is happy all the time.

Stress happens, and so does sadness, frustration, and anger.  We all have a range of emotions, usually on a daily basis.  Blocking emotions doesn’t lend itself to happiness but it does cause health issues, depression, and anxiety.  Being happy for life isn’t about being happy all the time.  It’s about underlying happiness that helps manage the bad times.   That feeling helps in the worst of times and makes the best of times much better.

Happiness Takes Work

Just like relationships take work, happiness takes work as well.  Being happy for life takes work.  It involves working on negative thoughts, and ideas.  Self-esteem is delicate and often takes a hit when something bad happens. Being able to feel good about yourself and your future, no matter what is happening, is a part of being happy.  Working on your attitude and presentation becomes important.  How you treat others is a part of being happy and has a great effect on relationships, romantic and otherwise.  Having a sense of purpose is also part of happiness, whether you are working full time or retired and focused on family. 

Happiness Looks Different for Everyone.

Some women like tall, dark and handsome.  Some like Ken.  Some men adore blonds, and others only go out with brunettes.  Some people enjoy being single and others are only happy if they are married.  Some people enjoy living in large houses, and others would rather have a small house or even a tiny house.  Some people love flowers and others don’t even like grass.  Happiness looks different for everyone.  You have to find out what works for you, and if you can make it work with someone else if that is what you choose. The trick is knowing and understanding what makes you happy. 

Stuff doesn’t = Happiness

So many people collect stuff and think it will make them happy. People with money collect cars and homes and fill them with stuff, from clothing to furniture.  Others buy things they don’t need from trinkets and gadgets to clothing and accessories.  Still, others pick up things on the street with the plan to rehab them.  When this issue becomes a problem, it’s called hoarding, but that’s another post for the future.  Just know that there isn’t anything that you can buy that will make you happy for life.  A purchase might give you a quick high, but it won’t last.  Happiness is not about stuff.

Happiness can be giving to others.

Giving to others can enhance happiness.  Giving time or money that will make a difference to your fellow human beings, I would argue, can help grow your happiness.  Knowing that you helped another person can be very rewarding. Helping others can keep us humble and also help us understand that anything we have can be gone. But remember most of all, giving should be about the heart.  Giving should never be about trying to get people to like you, or expecting something in return. That’s also another post.

As you think about your happiness, consider the above issues.  Think about your goals, and how the people around you fit into those goals, and develop a plan for yourself.  Being happy is about understanding what you want and how others play a part, or not, in your happiness.  There is much more to cover, but that will be in future posts.  This is a good beginning as you think about your future.  And remember, it’s all a part of being happy, for life.