I recently came back from a suicide prevention conference.  There was so much information presented it was hard to remember everything, but one thing stuck out for me.  A presentation by a group of comedians made me think.  They talked about how they felt and how they managed their depression, including their own experience with suicide.  I believe that most people have thought about suicide at some time in their lives.  It’s common, but not something people talk about.  It’s also not something many people are comfortable talking about.  If you don’t talk about it, how will you know if someone needs help?  You must talk about the issue because one death by suicide affects so many people and it needs to be talked about more.

I think there is a huge myth out there that talking about suicide makes people think about suicide.  It doesn’t.  Talking about suicide has saved many lives, and could save more if it was done more often.   Talking about suicide doesn’t make them commit suicide but it can make them think about other options and other perspectives, from therapy to reaching out for other support.  Many people thinking about taking their own lives feel alone.  Talking about it helps them feel connected, and can give them a reason to get support and help. 

I have worked with people considering suicide but also the people left behind.  So many people come in asking what they missed, or why didn’t their loved ones say anything? There is so much on both sides that the other doesn’t understand.  Family members would have done whatever it takes to keep their lived one from hurting, and the person thinking about suicide doesn’t want to burden their family with their depression and sadness.  I have listened to people who tried suicide but failed say that they never realized how loved they were.  I have heard from their family that they didn’t realized how depressed their loved one was.  Communication could have changed the whole dynamic if only one side reached out to talk about hard things.

To start a conversation, there are so many questions you can use.  Something simple works like asking someone about what they might be thinking.   I have started conversations by just talking about how someone looks.  If someone looks sad, they might be sad, but they might be more than sad.   You can also ask about current events, sports, the weather, or anything that gets someone talking.  Once you get a conversation going, that’s what can help get to the place that person needs to find. 

Suicide prevention is everyone’s responsibility.  We all have a responsibility to reach out to people who might need support.   Keeping a loved one or neighbor from taking their own life, by asking simple questions, isn’t as hard as it may seem and it could save a life.  The hope is that a person will reach out for help, but the feelings that lead to suicide don’t usually include feeling that they can reach our for support.  It may be up to us to make that first move.  It’s all a part of being happy, for life, and saving a life.