Beth and Jeremy made their way to the next session, bringing their notebook with them. They reviewed the questions with the therapist and how the discussions had gone.

The therapist asked Jeremy why he hadn’t shared his concerns sooner. Jeremy talked about how his family managed things when he was growing up. He talked about his parent’s marriage, and divorce when he was 12 years old. He shared information about their fights, and how his parents would call each other names, and scream at each other. He hated the conflict. He noted that he couldn’t handle the screaming growing up, and often left home, trying to avoid having to witness the events.

The therapist then turned to Beth and asked the same question. Beth shared how her family handled conflict. They tended to talk more in general. She shared that her parents were still married, but noted that they had some issues in their relationship but were able to work things out. She talked about a loving environment at home and added that she felt she could talk about anything with her mother.

In contrast, Jeremy shared that he wasn’t able to talk with his parents about much. His father had a drinking problem, and his mother was often distracted. He noted that on the rare occasion that he tried to get support from his parents, their advice was far from helpful.

The therapist listened as the couple talked about their family dynamics and shared insight into their differences. She talked to Jeremy about how the communication issues in his childhood home might make him more worried about sharing information. Beth’s home, being more open, makes her less concerned about communication, but also confused when Jeremy wouldn’t share things with her. This difference would be something they would need to address as they moved forward in treatment.

Blending two different communication patterns can be difficult for couples the therapist explained. Jeremy acknowledged that he often avoids any type of conflict because he is concerned about being yelled at and called names as his mother used to do to his father. Beth shared that her ability to talk with her mother about anything makes her open to any kind of discussion.

The therapist shared how the two communication patterns can lead to Jeremy’s avoidance and Beth’s pushing to get Jeremy to talk. The pushing that Beth was doing did more to push Jeremy away than get him to talk to her. She also shared how Jeremy’s avoidance was increasing Beth’s anxiety.

As the session came to an end, the therapist had Beth and Jeremy write another communication goal in the notebook.

Beth and Jeremy left the office feeling better about the future. They both learned something from the session that they didn’t know and they both understood how their behavior was leading to concern from the other.

The next week’s goal seemed easier and they were able to talk about both Beth’s and Jeremy’s request prior to the next session. Before they knew it, it was time to return for the next session.

Over the next weeks, they continued to attend sessions and learn more about their relationship and how their background affects their current relationship. As they continued to delve into their pasts and their current struggles, Beth and Jeremy started to understand each other better. Jeremy opened up more about his troubled childhood, sharing painful memories he had kept hidden from Beth. Beth listened with compassion, realizing the depth of Jeremy’s sadness.

As the conversation continued, they learned how to communicate effectively and support each other through challenging times. They discovered new ways to connect and nurture their relationship on a stronger foundation of trust and understanding.

Months passed, and Beth noticed a change in Jeremy. He seemed more at peace with himself and their marriage. They grew closer than ever before, overcoming obstacles together as a united front.

One evening, as they sat on the porch watching the sunset, Jeremy took Beth’s hand and looked into her eyes with love and gratitude. He thanked her for standing by him during the dark times and promised to always cherish their bond.

Beth looked back at Jeremy and promised to always be there for him. She smiled and knew that they had come a long way. Their notebook was half full, and they continued to use it when things came up that they needed to discuss. They were ready for the future, and whatever was to come, and they would face it hand in hand.

The story of Beth and Jeremy is more common than uncommon. Many couples struggle with communication differences that have a profound effect on their relationship. Having a third party that can help identify the differences and build new skills that can work to help relationships grow and change for the good.

Understanding your differences can be as helpful as understanding what brings couples together. Jeremy needed Beth on some level to show him that communication doesn’t need to be scary or degrading. Beth needed Jeremy to understand that not everyone’s family is supportive of each other.

Don’t just give up a relationship because communication is an issue. If you feel strongly, get help and work on skills. Never underestimate how helpful a therapist can be when it comes to communication, and so much more. It’s all part of being happy, for life.