Rob got home from his therapy session and sat down to write some notes. Dr. Ogden had given him a homework assignment to write about the positive and negative parts of his new relationship, so far. He got his journal out and started to write.

Rob started with the positive parts. His new prospect had a job, an apartment, and a car. They had been living independently for 4 years and were stable in a job for 3 years. The person seemed positive and hopeful, already an improvement over his past partner.

Rob moved to the negatives. He really didn’t know about the family of the person, or where they were. They hadn’t talked much about previous relationships or goals for the future. He also hadn’t learned much about baggage they were carrying.

Rob was stable in his job, and in his apartment, but he knew that he wanted to buy a house eventually. He knew he wanted a family, and he wanted them to be close, unlike his family.

He didn’t have much contact with his family and wasn’t sure how comfortable he would be around a lot of family. His family relationships were distant, and his family was often not around when he needed them.

Dr. Ogden had Rob journal about the baggage he brings into relationships and how his baggage affects his behavior for previous homework assignments. He reviewed that assignment and the skills he was learning to change his behavior.

He also reviewed an assignment on boundaries, including financial boundaries and expectations. He was learning how to better manage his finances and say no if someone pressured him to spend money he didn’t have.

That was a big problem in previous relationships. He tended to try to buy people or make them think he had more money than he really did not. That often led him to overspend, and the person left when they found out how much he really had. He thought about all the times he had to eat Ramen while he dug himself out of a financial hole. He was tired of that and really wanted to change that behavior.

Rob reviewed some other previous assignments and included a couple more things on his positive and negative list. He thought about his new interest and how different the relationship started, with friendship. He thought about a date he had coming up and started to plan for that.

They talked about going to a movie, and out for ice cream after. It was something they both enjoyed, and they would be able to talk more about expectations. He knew from past relationships that he needed to have clear expectations and be able to share them with a new partner.

Rob wasn’t good at voicing what he wanted. In the past, it was more important to do what the other person wanted. That often left him sad and broke. He had to get better at working toward a give-and-take relationship. He had to stop giving without getting much back.

Rob did some more writing and reviewed his thoughts. It was really the first time he felt hopeful about the future. He sat back and looked out the window. He was glad that he found a therapist that could help him with a new perspective and skills.

Rob was learning about his baggage and how to manage it. He was on a good path, and he wanted to continue his progress and he could. With the help of Dr. Ogden, he was hopeful about the future.

Don’t miss how it ends. Click here for the final chapter.