Ever get caught up on bills, only to have your car break down?  Have you ever gotten a new job, just to have a medical issue get bad and you end up missing days at work?  Have you ever gotten a new car, only to end up in an accident?  So many times, we feel like things are going well and something happens to mess it up.   I wrote a post a while ago, that talked about learning how to dance in the rain.  These are some of those times when you must learn to dance in the rain. 

                In working with patients, there always seems to be an event that brings someone into treatment.  It’s almost a “last straw” kind of event when they think they just can’t handle another thing.  Many times, with the many hats we wear, there are too many things happening in too many parts of our lives.  If the kids are having trouble in school, the marriage is on the rocks, the air conditioning goes out, and the car gets wrecked, that’s a lot to manage for anyone.  Each can be seen as a setback, but each needs to be managed differently with different skills. 

                Some people can think about setbacks and see other positive areas to help manage the stress related to the setback.  For instance, if the air conditioning dies, they may take comfort in the fact their job is going well, and they will be able to pay for the repair.  If the kids are having trouble in school, there may be comfort in knowing how to help the kids with schoolwork.  If the car gets wrecked, and you must buy another, you might find something you like better.  As odd as it sounds, things might improve because of the setback.  If you lost a job, you could find a better one.  If you have a medical issue, you might be able to address a health concern before it gets worse, and you can come out healthier than before.

                Setbacks will never go away.  The reality is that things happen.  The plan should be how to manage setbacks when they happen.  So many people are living paycheck to paycheck, and not able to put anything away for the setbacks that come along.  When you are planning, plan for the setbacks.   Have a next egg for emergencies.  Plan for things to happen, good and bad.  Plan for the worst and hope for the best.  Never assume that things will be easy.  Life isn’t easy, and life isn’t great without risks.  When you do new things, it comes with risk.  Even buying a new car is a risk, but it can be a fun risk. 

                Setbacks are part of life.  When you plan as much as you can, it helps manage the setbacks that are bound to come.  This is a good “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” time.  Always remember that if you need help, reach out and ask.  There is more help out there than you think, you just have to ask.  We all need help now and then, so it’s ok to ask.  It’s all part of being happy, for life.