Laura sat on a bench at the train station, waiting for her train.  She looked around at all the people walking and shuffling about on their way to somewhere.  There were families and couples walking together and other people walking alone.  Some people were hugging, saying goodbye, and others hugging as they found each other in the crowded station, after arriving from far off places.

As she watched the people move about, her loneliness overwhelmed her. She thought about recent events and her travel plans.  She thought about the moments that brought her to this day, and wondered what the future would hold.

Laura was embarking on a trip to see her sister, but it actually felt like a crossroad as she tried to decide the future. She looked at her train ticket and looked forward to getting into her cabin so she could relax.  It would be a long ride, and she was looking forward to the quiet. She had some thinking to do, but she was struggling with where to start.

Laura’s husband passed away four years ago, and she was still struggling with the loss.  She still celebrated his birthday and marked the day he passed. Her grief was changing, but she knew that her life would never be the same. She was trying to make some decisions about the future, but she couldn’t help thinking about the past and her love and devotion for her husband.

Laura thought about the trip to see her sister.  Her sister talked her into coming but she knew that there were other motives.  She knew her sister was worried about her and wanted to help. She didn’t like to travel alone, but it was a necessity now.  Laura thought about how lonely she had been, and how much she missed her husband. In the years since his death, she replayed events but still struggled with guilt.  She should have known about his health.  She should have made him go the doctor, but all the “should of” was not going to bring him back. 

Laura started to cry as she continued watching the people move through the station.  She looked up at the board and noticed that her train had arrived.  She would be boarding soon.  All of a sudden, she was grateful. Seeing all the families and couples was making her feel more alone. She began getting her things together so she could head to the platform. It wouldn’t be long now.

Check in and security went quickly, and she found her cabin easily.  She entered and put her things down, looking out the window as people continued to move around the platform.  She sat down suddenly feeling nervous about her trip.  She wished her husband was there.  She struggled to feel safe without him by her side, but she promised to make this trip.

She settled in and before she knew it, the train was moving. It was early afternoon, and she had time before dinner to relax and watch the city go by the window. She watched for places that she knew, and for places that she and her husband had been.  As the world went by, she found herself crying as she thought about how her husband would love the train trip.

Laura stayed in her cabin for the afternoon, reading and just looking out the window.  As the train left the city, she watched the city buildings change into farmhouses and fields as far as the eye could see.  She thought how lovely it was, but also how lonely she felt.  Even with all the people on the train, she felt alone.

Laura felt alone on the train, and in life.  Her heart ached with an emptiness that consumed her. She didn’t know what the future held, but she new that her grief was still real and overwhelming. Even after 4 years, her grief was still a struggle.