The day of the meeting with Chad had arrived, and Kristi got ready.  She checked in with Cindy and shared the details again. She made sure that her location was available on her phone, and Cindy could see where she was. She got into her car and headed to the restaurant.

When she got to the location, she went in and found that he hadn’t arrived yet. She got a table and sent a message to him in their chat and waited.  She didn’t wait long.  He arrived, looking like he did in the pictures that he shared with her. The fact that he looked like his photos was reassuring for her. He came over and sat down, and they introduced themselves for the first time, in person.

Kristi shared her first name, and he shared his. His name was Chad, and they started talking for the first time in the same room. They ordered food and drinks, already agreeing that they would each pay for their own meals. Chad was well dressed in a sweater and jeans. His sneakers were worn, but still good. Kristi picked a skirt and sweater for the meeting.  She had her favorite shoes to complete her outfit and felt good about her look.

They talked about recent events, plans for the weekend, and things they enjoyed.  The conversation seemed easy as they shared information and more about themselves. Kristi talked more about her last relationship, including how it came apart. She talked about what was important to her, and how her previous partner didn’t seem to respect how she felt.

Chad seemed to understand.  He talked about his divorce, including issues in his marriage.  He talked about not being ready for the responsibility of marriage.  He noted that he was young and that they were married for about 5 years. Over the last year together, things began to unravel, and they knew they were growing apart, not together. He shared that they agreed to the divorce, making the process easy. He disclosed that they parted as friends, and that his ex was in a new relationship.  He talked about how he managed the news and added that he wished her well.

Kristi appreciated how Chad was able to talk about his divorce. He seemed to have managed the end of the relationship appropriately and was moving on in a healthy way. She had also processed her break up and wished her ex well.  She knew that they were not good together and were better apart.

Kristi appreciated how Chad was able to talk about the situation, in a very grown-up way.  She had met other people who were bitter and angry.  They talked about their past relationships with hate and fury.  She had come to understand that usually meant that they were struggling to manage the emotions that came from such a difficult time. She also understood that the struggle often interfered with new relationships.

Kristi’s best friend, Cindy, went through a divorce.  The divorce was terrible.  Cindy and her ex-husband fought over everything, said horrible things about each other, and hurt each other in the beginning.  They were both hurting, and she knew her friend needed Kristi to help her through.  She encouraged Cindy to get therapy and therapy helped her heal. Kristi was so happy that Cindy was able to rebuild her life and to find love again.  Her friend found a healthy relationship and was happy.  Kristi was happy for Cindy, but she wanted to find that for herself.

Kristi and Chad finished their meals, paid the bill, and decided to keep the conversation going.  They found an ice cream shop nearby and kept talking.  There was more that she wanted to know about him now that they had moved to communication in person.  She felt comfortable with him, and he seemed to feel comfortable with her. By the time the evening was over, they were talking about seeing each other again. They agreed to make plans again soon.  As the evening came to a close, they smiled and hugged each other before they went their separate ways.

Kristi got home and called Cindy. She shared information about the evening and her friend was happy for her but warned her that this was only the first meeting.  There was more to do to get to know him if a relationship was going to work.  Kristi knew Cindy was right, but for the first time in a long time, she had hope.