With the first meeting under their belts, Kristi and Chad continued to talk and even transitioned to talking by phone. They started texting often, checking in with each other and making plans to meet again. The next month flew by, in a flurry of work meetings and sharing more details about each of their lives. By the second month after the meeting, they had been to each other’s homes and Kristi felt comfortable enough to ride with Chad when they went out.

Their first kiss was lovely, soft and special, and Kristi was beginning to feel safe in his arms.  They started holding hands and talking more about the future. Their conversation seemed easy and their connection seemed to be growing.

Kristi was happy about how the relationship grew.  She felt that they were focused on getting to know each other, in a way that she hadn’t done before. Work was going well, and she was more active even around her home than she had ever been. Time with Chad was helping her feel less lonely, and she was optimistic about the future.

Kristi and Chad were moving their relationship forward, and the holidays were coming up. They decided to spend time with both families and made plans to visit her family on Christmas Eve, and Chad’s family on Christmas Day.  She was excited about the plans, and they went together to buy gifts for family. It was a wonderful experience.  They even sat together to wrap the gifts.  Kristi wanted to make the gifts beautiful, adding ribbons and bows. 

Christmas Eve came quickly, but they were ready.  They set out for her parent’s home.  This was the first time her family would meet Chad, and she had warned them to be on their best behavior.  She had talked with her parents and siblings ahead of time and told them to be respectful.  Her family agreed to her terms and conditions, and she was confident that the evening would go well.

They arrived and she introduced Chad to her family. She greeted her family with hugs, and Chad was free to be as physical as he was comfortable and mostly shook hands. Her family talked about recent events, and Kristi’s mother shared information about the family with Chad.  Conversation seemed to be going well when they sat down for dinner.

Kristi filled Chad in on family interactions to keep him a part of the conversation, and he laughed as they shared stories. After dinner, they opened presents and her family seemed to like what they picked out. The rest of the evening went well, with more laughing and easy interaction.  Kristi and Chad enjoyed the holiday and left happy.  They talked about the night in the car on the way home.  Kristi picked up Chad for the drive to her family, and the plan was for Chad to pick up Kristi for the ride to his family’s home in the morning.  Kristi dropped Chad off and drove home happy and hopeful.

Chad picked her up in the morning, right on time.  They drove to his family’s home and arrived on time as planned. Kristi had the gifts for his family ready and brought them in with her. Kristi took note of the house, and it looked like her own parent’s home. Her parents still lived in the home that she grew up in, and Chad had mentioned that his parents lived in his childhood home as well.  Kristi liked that they shared that.  Her family was in a different part of town, but the parts were very similar.

Chad entered the home, with Kristi following. His family was already there, and his mother came to greet him.  His father didn’t get up from his recliner, just waving from the family room. Unlike the visit to Kristi’s parent’s home, Chad didn’t introduce Kristi to his family.  Chad’s mother didn’t even seem to notice her.  She introduced herself, when presented with an opportunity, and his mother said hello and went back to what she was doing. Chad moved further into the house, talking to other family members and moving through the house easily.

Kristi felt awkward, finding a place to sit. She watched Chad moving through the house greeting people without seeming to acknowledge her. Kristi began to look around and spotted a picture of Chad with another female.  She thought that it might be his ex-wife, but she wasn’t sure, and she was afraid to ask. Chad’s sister offered her something to drink and Kristi just requested some water.

The day continued with little change in the situation. Kristi began to understand who the family members were, as she listened to conversation, but she remained in her seat, watching as if she was watching a movie.  She didn’t feel part of the scene, and she was surprised.  Chad seemed so engaged when they were together, but now she felt disconnected.

Kristi sat next to Chad when everyone sat down for dinner, and conversation went on around her. She watched and observed the dynamics. Chad interacted and seemed comfortable with the current dynamics. He rarely acknowledged her, as the day progressed and by the end, Kristi just wanted to go home.

When they finally left, Kristi got into the car and was very quiet. Chad didn’t say anything at first, but after a few minutes, he made a remark about how he felt that the day went well. Kristi watched out the window, watching things go by.  She didn’t really respond to his comment and remained quiet until they arrived at her home. When the car stopped, she turned to Chad.  She looked him in the eye and made a comment about feeling like an outsider while with his family.  She asked by he didn’t introduce her to people or include her in conversation. Chad looked at her confused and didn’t seem to understand her question. Kristi got sad, and just said good night, got out of the car, and went into her home.

Kristi processed the evening as she got ready for bed. She was really beginning to care for Chad but was very confused by the events of the day.  She knew that they would need to talk more, but for now she was just emotionally exhausted. She lay in her bed, still playing the events of the day as she fell asleep.