“The Noblest art is that of making others happy.” PT Barnum

                This quote is the final thing in the movie The Greatest Showman, just before the credits roll. It makes sense in the context of the movie, in that the circus does make most people happy when they come to see it.  Many people spend their lives trying to make others happy.  They have jobs or professions that try to help others, and they do their best to make the world a better place.  They entertain, support, and try to help others with the best intensions, but the reality is we can’t make anyone happy.  You have the power to make yourself happy, but you can’t make other people be happy.

                I started my career almost 30 years ago now, and it took me about 5 years to understand what power I have, as a social worker.  I have worked in child welfare, mental health, hospital social work, and now geriatric social work and each area has taught me lessons that I needed to understand.  Working in child welfare helped me understand different family dynamics and structure that I didn’t even know existed.  Mental health introduced me to how others think about the world, and life.  Hospital and geriatric social work helped me understand that there are so many people out there with little to no support as they age, but all the areas made me understand that I can’t make anyone happy.

                I can be funny, tell jokes, and provide education to help others consider what happiness is.  I can help someone think about making their life more positive, but I can’t make them change their future.  I have worked with many people over the years, and some have changed their lives, and their futures.  Others remained stuck, unable to change their thoughts or behavior.  Many people blame their therapist when things don’t change in their lives.  What so many people don’t understand is that your therapist can challenge you, but if you don’t do things differently, there is nothing your therapist can do.   There is no magic in therapy, no matter what degree your therapist has.

                Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy making people smile, even if just for a moment.  I have been a performer in the past, and I enjoyed singing, dancing, and acting to help others forget their problems, even it’s only for a moment.  I enjoy attending the circus, or shows that make me smile.  I know those things can’t change the world, or cure cancer, or make people stay happy.  They can give us a vacation from problems and stress.  It might last only a short time and we end up right back in the stress, but we need a vacation from our problems now and then.

                We can’t make anyone else happy, but we can make sure that we are happy.    We can make good choices, plan as much as we can, and enjoy life.  We can share our happiness with others, and try to help others, because that can help us be happy.  We can be role models and show others that happiness is possible.  Remember, happiness isn’t easy to accomplish, but it can be done, so find your happiness and what it means to you.  That is part of the goal of being happy, for life.