Mary stood at the door, ready to open it but couldn’t move. Her face was sad and her thoughts overwhelmed her as she thought about the afternoon. She didn’t know what to do, but she knew she had to do something.

She and her daughter had a fight earlier in the day, and her daughter ran out of the house. She knew that her daughter was struggling, but that was normal for middle school, right?

Diane was only 11 years old, and new to middle school, but seemed older when she talked. She was struggling with peers at school and Mary was having trouble getting Diane to talk about what was happening. Diane didn’t want to talk about anything with Mary. She didn’t think that Mary would understand.

“I was young once”, Mary said at one point, but that didn’t seem to matter. Mary’s relationship with Diane had been better when she was younger, but since starting middle school, Diane had become more distant. Diane’s grades were falling, and she was starting to get in trouble at school.

Diane seemed to be making friends who didn’t treat her very well, and she seemed depressed and anxious. Mary was worried about how Diane was eating and sleeping, when she tried, Diane wouldn’t talk about anything.

The conflict of the day included Diane asking for money, a lot of money, and Mary having to say no. Diane got very upset, accusing Mary of “ruining her life” and stormed out of the house. Mary didn’t know what was happening, but she needed to find out.

Over the next couple of days, Mary tried to talk with Diane with no progress. She called the school and made an appointment with the school counselor.

Mary stood at the door repaying recent events and knew where she needed to go, but she felt powerless. She questioned her parenting skills and was afraid that things would get worse. She took time off from work and went to the school.

Mary checked in at the office and waited for Ms. Charles, Diane’s guidance counselor. When she was called to Ms. Charles office, she sat down quickly, looking tired and worried. Ms. Charles sensed her concerns and asked how she could help.

Mary shared recent events, and concerns, and wanted to know if Ms. Charles had any insight into what was happening. She talked about Diane asking for money and was worried that Diane was struggling or being bullied.

Ms. Charles looked into Diane’s grades, teachers, test scores, and past school information. She talked with Mary about current issues the school is trying to manage, including some students reporting being bullied and pressured for money.

Mary was even more concerned as Ms. Charles talked. Ms. Charles shared steps that the school is taking to manage the issues but had to admit that they couldn’t be everywhere. Mary and Ms. Charles worked on a plan to try to support Diane, even if Diane didn’t want the support.

When Mary left, she started to work on a plan to try to improve her communication with Diane and try to find out more about what was happening. Ms. Charles was going to try to talk with Diane to let her know Ms. Charles was available if Diane needed support. Both agreed that they didn’t want to put Diane in a position that would make things worse, but they wanted Diane to know that she wasn’t alone.

Driving home, Mary felt a little better. She started to think about things she could do to work on communication with her daughter. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she knew it was really important. She loved her daughter, even if her daughter didn’t think she did at the moment.