Mary got home from talking with Ms. Charles and Diane was home and locked in her room. Mary thought back to her middle school years, and how much she struggled. Mary’s mother tried, but often blew up at Mary, making conversation impossible.

Mary stopped talking to her mother around the age of 14, and never started again. Their relationship got so bad, that Mary moved out of the house after graduation because she just couldn’t stand being at the house with her mother.

Mary considered what might have helped her at Diane’s age, and thought about the fights that she and her mother had. Her mother didn’t want to listen, she just wanted to tell her what to do. She didn’t want to be told what to do, she wanted someone to listen.

Looking back, she now understood that it must have been hard for her mother to watch her daughter struggle. She wanted to fix things for Mary so she could be happy, but Mary understood more than ever that she couldn’t fix this. She needed to help Diane fix this, and for that to happen, Diane would need to trust her.

Mary decided to let Diane know that she was available if Diane wanted to talk about anything. She went to the bedroom door, and talked through the door.

“I’m back, and I’m here if you want to talk,” Mary called through the door.

There was only silence. Mary walked away, but she knew that she opened the door. When Diane would walk through it was still a mystery and Mary had to be patient.

Over the next week, Mary did simple things, like making eye contact with Diane, offering support, sharing information about her day, and asking about Diane’s day, even if Diane didn’t answer. She was careful not to get upset by the eye-rolling and testing that Diane did. She knew that was part of the age, and she needed to choose her battles carefully.

There was tension as she continued her work around their communication, but it would be worth it in the long run, no matter how long it took. As Diane continued to try to push Mary away, Mary worked to let Diane know that she wasn’t going anywhere and would be there for Diane.

Mary and Ms. Charles continued to communicate behind the scenes. Ms. Charles was sharing dynamics at the school, and Mary shared issues that came up at home for Ms. Charles to look into. They worked together well, trying to improve the situation.

Diane’s grades were still low, but they were not getting any lower. They decided that that was a good sign, and continued thier plan. Ms. Charles appreciated Mary wanting to help her student, and Mary appreciated information about dynamics at school that would help her better understand Diane and how to provide support.

It was a long process, and Mary couldn’t say that things were better, but things were not worse. She decided that was progress. Mary had to admit that in middle school, she was miserable. She felt awkward and an outcast, and her self-esteem was at an all-time low.

Mary knew that she would continue to work on things until Diane started to communicate again. She just hoped that it would be before Diane graduated from high school.