James started on his priories. Work was improving and he was feeling better about the future. He was making plans to settle in, when an interesting email ended up in his in box.  When thinking about his future, James sent out some resumes to see what was possible.  Although he hadn’t thought about them recently, the email brought it back to his thoughts.  The email was offering an interview for a position, out of state.

James had to consider the email carefully. The offer was for an interview, based on his resume, for a position for which he hadn’t applied.  James went back to the original application and reviewed the previous information.  He noted that it had the potential for a higher salary, in a state without an income tax, with a smaller population to serve than his current position.

He also reviewed other issues, including the idea of moving out of state, and what that would entail. He thought about costs, housing, and everything from his health care to his dental cleaning.  He considered everything and wrote an email that he might be interested in an interview.  His heart was pounding as he pushed send.

James was aware that accepting a new position came with risks.  It also came with changes in his relationship with his wife.  Maybe they needed to be separated to better determine what the future needed to be.  Living in the same house was stressful, and it was really stressful at times.  His wife was asking about trying to salvage their relationship but he wasn’t sure he would trust her, ever again.

James continued to work on his finances and was still saving money. His account was looking better every month, and although he was worried that a move out of state would put his progress at risk, he still had to consider the option.  He continued to watch his spending and save as much as he could every month.

James also started to look into social events that he could attend.  The idea of meeting new people brought James hope for the future.  He wasn’t interested in dating.  He was still married, but he liked the idea of building a group that was fun and supportive.  It had been a long time since he felt connected to others.  His family had always been supportive, but his spouse’s support had waned years ago.

As James thought about the last few years, he thought of how alone he had felt, and how that loneliness contributed to his depression.  Over the years he tried to do things alone, but it only made things worse.  He didn’t get married to have to travel and manage alone. The idea of having people to share events and travels was exciting.  He hoped to find that in future, event if it wasn’t his wife.

James had so many things going through his mind, it was hard to determine what he wanted.  Now, he had more to think about.  Should he seriously consider taking a new job, or stay with his current team? Should he develop his other relationships, friendships? He wanted to find happiness. He wished that fate would just show him the best path, but he knew that he would have to figure it out on his own. He and his wife continued to talk, but nothing had changed.  That spoke volumes. James decided he would take things one day at time and have faith that he would find the path he needed.

James’ story is far from over.  He is lucky to have options for his future, and ways to manage those options to determine what’s best for him. We are all faced with options and choices every day.  We make decisions that have some effect on our future, and other decisions that have a profound effect, but we can make choices.  Whether you are balancing work issues, marital conflict, or other difficult events, you can determine you best option.  Sometimes, you just need time.  You need time to weigh the options and outcomes.  You need time to plan and review all the outcomes so you can chose what’s best for you.

When faced with a difficult time, take the time you need to think about your options.  Talk through some of the opportunities with people you trust.  Look at all the positive and negative possible outcomes and chose the best for you. Your happiness is important, and you need to decide what you want.  It won’t be easy but it’s part of being happy, for life.