I know when people think of being grounded, your teen years come into mind and you have nightmares about being stuck in your room when you were failing in school.  Your parents grounded you for having bad grades, or being out past curfew, but this isn’t that kind of grounding.  I want to talk about grounding yourself to the present.  There are a lot of times these days were we struggle to stay present in our lives.  We end up lost in the past, or too focused on the present.  Something happens and we lose our ability to think about things in a good way, and we get ourselves into trouble.  I really want to talk about finding ways to stay grounded in the present.

                Ever have one of those issues with road rage, when you are driving down the street and someone cuts you off?   In that moment, you have a choice in how you respond.  You can carry on, yelling and screaming at the car, or you can take a deep breath regroup and go about your day.  You can chase the car, and start a fight, or you can focus on the song on the radio.  Think about the differences in the response.  Would you role model the good behavior, especially if you have kids in the car, or would you put your life and the lives of your family at risk trying to get revenge?

                So many times in life, especially with trauma in our history, we get pulled into situations that bring us back to the pain and fear of the past.  We feel vulnerable and out of control, and lash out in ways that put us at risk for so many things.  This can lead to violence that gets people arrested.  It leads to health issues, and divorce.  It leads to relationship issues, and so many other struggles that lead to depression, anxiety, and sadness.  It can lead to sleepless nights and heartburn.  Don’t let the past ruin your future.  Stay grounded in the present and get support if you need it.

                When I work with patients, we talk about grounding objects when we start working on trauma.  As kids, we are generally good at having a grounding object, but we lose them as we get older.  Some kids have blankets, or stuffed animals they carry around.  These things really do have meaning and help young children manage anxiety.  As adults we can have other objects as grounding objects.  For some, with road rage, I encourage them to put a picture of their family on their rearview mirror.  They can see the picture and it reminds them of what they are going home too.  For others, they have a rock they can hold in their pocket.  They can take it out anywhere, and no one would notice.  They can rub it and remember what’s important.  From pictures, to rocks to stuffed animals, it doesn’t matter the object as long as it helps you remember what’s important.

                Stay grounded to the present.  If you need it, find that object that will help you stay in the moment, where you can have the most positive affect on the rest of your life.  It won’t always work, but it’s a start when you are working on you happiness.    It’s just a part of being happy, for life.