For most, the holidays come with family gatherings.   For many, they look forward to seeing family and spending time together.   For others, they attend out of obligation.  In our house, the Christmas Vacation movie is very popular, and I often think of the gathering of family in the movie.   If you haven’t seen it, the black sheep relatives show up.  The aunt wraps up her cat, and a squirrel ends up in the house when the Christmas tree burns down and they bring in a new tree from the yard.  Most family gatherings don’t end up that crazy, but they can be difficult.  If you are heading for an extended family gathering, let’s talk about how to survive.

                I don’t know about your family, but in my family there are three things that should never be discussed.  When it comes to politics, money, and the headline news, everyone has an opinion.  It’s inevitable that the shared opinions will spark yelling and debate.  With our country still divided on politics and other issues, talking about them may cause conflict and stress.   If you family is anything like mine, we don’t need any more stress or problems in our family.  So I would avoid topics that bring up conflict.  If they do come up, have a plan to distract and redirect.

                So what about the food?  Do you like turkey?  I’m often surprised, but some people don’t.  I love turkey, and look forward to Thanksgiving every year.  We make all the basics, like stuffing, gravy, potatoes, turkey, and cranberry sauce.   As people talk about their meals, it’s interesting to me what actually comes out to the tables on Thanksgiving.   From tofurkey, to ham, to so many other things, we all have traditions.  If turkey isn’t your thing, bring something that you will enjoy.  Go for dessert.  If you are focused on foods, and avoid others, respectfully decline an offer for dinner.  It’s okay to have boundaries.

                Dinner times vary between families.  Some families eat early, and some eat late, more around dinner time.  Some people like to have people over and have drinks before dinner, while others just want to get to the eating.  Some families are aware and respectful of other’s time, and others are not.  Also remember that some people have more than one place to go on a holiday.  If you are inviting people who have more than one invitation, be aware and respectful of their plans.    If you have more than one place to go, be careful.   Don’t assume that you can go to your parents for lunch, and have a full meal, and then go to your in-law’s home for dinner.   Aside from gaining 100 pounds in one day, you will likely feel awful, physically.

                Thanksgiving can be a wonderful holiday, but it can bring stress and conflict.  Take steps to lower your stress and enjoy the day.   Whether you enjoy the food, the company, or cooking for friends and family, have a wonderful day.  Plan for issues and manage them as best you can.  Decide which issues have the potential to cause a struggle and develop a strategy to manage them.    You can do it!  It’s all part of being happy, for life.