It’s never a topic that people want to talk about, but what happens when you realize that your parents are getting older, and they are not as sharp as they used to be.  No one wants to think about their parents having issues with memory, but it happens frequently.  I lost track of the number of families that I tried to support when the older adults had lost thousands of dollars to scams, unethical caregivers, and “friends” that robbed an older person, sometimes blind.  If you have any concerns about your family member’s ability to manage issues, try to intervene before it becomes an issue for the police.

                I wish it wasn’t the case, but there are still a lot of dishonest people looking for vulnerable adults to target for fraud and abuse.  It can be other family members, neighbors, or even caregivers hired privately.  I worry most about adults that have no one to advocate for them, as they are the most vulnerable.  Older adults are more likely to be scammed, and without support from loves ones, they are at risk. 

                You hear stories on the news often about scams, taking money from older adults, robbing them of their life savings, or their home.  Sometimes the lack of support is because of the behavior of the elderly adult, but many times it is because of the disconnection from family.  Maybe you live in another state, or across the country.  Maybe you are busy with children, or work, and it’s hard to track your parents because they live far away.  Whatever the reason, don’t leave your family members vulnerable because you were too busy.

                The more you talk with your loved ones, the more you can assess related to memory issues.  Share information and ask them about recent events.  Ask about what they have had to eat, and recent activities.  If they are vague, ask other questions.  If you are concerned, consider being on their accounts so you can follow spending and identify concerns.  Make sure their bills get paid, so they don’t lose their home or utilities because they forgot to pay bills.  Again, this happens more frequently that I like to admit, and it’s hard to help once things get bad.  Catch it before it does.

                If your concerns grow, consider trying to get your loved one to move closer so you can provide more assistance.  I know parents don’t want to move, and they may not think it’s needed, but there may be a time when you have to convince them.  Many times it’s easier when you have children and a job, to move loved ones closer, than making multiple trips a month to help keep them safe.  Having to make difficult decisions can cause lots of stress, but it’s important and can keep the situation from getting worse, and believe me I have seen worse.

                I know it’s not what people want to talk about, but it’s important for you and your loved one to pay attention and assess situations.  It can help you, and them, with safety (financial and physical) and planning for the future.  If you are part of the problem, stop, and leave the situation.  If you are trying to do what’s best for them, work to keep everyone safe.   It’s all part of being happy, for life  (yours and theirs).