I know many people don’t think about creating a living will until they are old and retired, but you should consider it much sooner than that.  A living will lays out your wishes if you are not able to make decisions about your medical care.  It also names a health care surrogate, if you choose to identify someone, to make decisions in the event that you are not able to speak for yourself.  After working in an emergency room, in a location that was not very busy, having a living will and talking to your family about what you would want in different situations is not morbid, it’s important.

                Many people think that if you talk about death, or situations when you would use a living will, you are inviting issues.  I would argue the opposite.  I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you plan for something, you will never have to use it.  Being prepared for anything can be helpful, and developing a living will, even in your 20’s, is important for all.  As a parent, you are already a health care surrogate for your children and it will be up to you to make decisions for them, but consider when your children turn 18.  Do you have the same power?

                Not necessarily.   At 18, an adult can give that power to anyone they choose.  Consider your 19 year old daughter is in an accident.  You arrive at the hospital to find that she gave decision making to her 20 year old boyfriend, because he coerced her to sign a form, maybe even under duress.  He makes decisions that you know she wouldn’t want, and there is nothing you can do at the moment to change the situation.  How would you feel?  I know I would feel helpless and angry, and afraid for my daughter.

                So how about your father, who is now struggling from dementia.  His health is failing, and you find out he is in the hospital.  Your name is on his chart from a previous admission, and the hospital calls to report that he has been admitted and his new girlfriend is at his bedside.  You didn’t know anything about the girlfriend and you become concerned that she will make decisions that put him at risk.  Worse yet, the girlfriend could have gained access to his financial information and is stealing from him, which is a completely different post.

                Everyone between 18 and death should sit down and consider a plan.  At 18 years old, your plan might look different from a plan you might make a different phase of life, like when you have children, but it’s no less important.   As a social worker in the emergency room, I was saddened and amazed at families who came in and had to make decisions about a loved one.  Some families fought about the decisions, and they fought about who could make the decisions.  You never know when you might be called on to help a loved one and it doesn’t hurt anyone to talk about the difficult topic of accidents and death, and develop a plan. 

                So talk about death with your parents, your kids, or your friends if that’s who might make decisions for you.  Share your wishes, and allow them to share their wishes with you.  Offer support and guidance, and develop a plan.  Even if you never have to use it, you will have the security of knowing someone will be able to advocate for you, if something happens.  It’s all part of being happy, for a long life.