We are in such a difficult time, in our world.  We are watching the world stage as a country wages war against another for reasons few understand.  We are also watching so many other wars in different areas, from politics to families, and even on a personal level.  I would argue that people wage war on social media, against perceived beliefs in others and misjudgments related to actions and behavior.  Any kind of conflict can be seen as a war, but does anyone ever really win a war?  I would argue that no one wins a war, whether it’s words or bombs.

                Many talk of revenge and getting even, when they come to treatment.  They talk about being wronged, and being angry about the actions of others.  We talk about events and actions, and things that lead to the current issues, and how they handled those events.  We talk about how to manage the feelings they have, but we have to talk about the reality of the situation, and the consequences.  Seeking revenge can result in being arrested.  Starting a war of words or actions only leads to sadness.  Starting a war of bombs leads to death and destruction.

Think about a war you might start on social media.  How would you win such a war?  Do you get more likes than the other person?  Do you get more support, and if you have the same friends, to the friends side with you?  If you start a war with your neighbor, how do you win?  Do they eventually move?  Do you get other neighbors on your side?  How do you know you won?  Do you really ever win, or do you just make the situation so difficult to manage that everyone is miserable?

Think about the wars that have been a part of our history.  From the Civil War, to the World Wars, to the recent war against the Taliban, who won any of those wars?  The wars ended, but the countries were devastated and the loss of life significant.  The two sides stopped fighting but that didn’t mean that people agreed on issues that caused the conflict in the beginning.  Often families are torn apart, as members take sides, and it’s hard to reconcile back to a supportive family.  So many lives are torn apart with little hope of mending relationships.  As you think about social media conflict, and wars, no one wins those either.  Someone gets to say things they feel, without consideration for the feelings of others, and causes pain and hurt to others.  They can’t take those words back, ever.  They can be deleted, but once they were out there, they are rarely forgotten.

Wars and conflict leave only devastation in their wake.  While conflict is normal, high levels of aggression and bully behavior is not.   They are rarely a part of being happy.  As we watch our world grow and change, let’s think about wars at home, and overseas.  The movie, WarGames, had a scene where the computer was “learning” not to get involved in war.  You would think that as humans we might have learned that already.  There are no winners in war, and it is never a part of being happy, for life.