Nobody ever said that parenting teens was easy.  Teens are supposed to start spreading their wings before turning 18, and learning from mistakes.  They start becoming more independent, getting jobs, and developing relationships.  They learn about money, including how to spend and how to save (hopefully), and they start to learn the cost of living.  They start thinking about the future and planning how to support themselves.  If you have teens or older children, you know that this is a really hard time for parents, and teens.  Parenting teens takes patience, resilience, and lots of aspirin for the headaches.        

                I’m often saddened by people who don’t provide boundaries and life lessons that teens will use to learn how to be independent.  As a parent myself, it’s hard to be the bad guy when it comes to money, curfew, and using the car.  It’s important to remember that the lessons that you teach now can help you, and them, in the future.  Make sure that your kids pay their own way, with money they earn, at times.  This helps them value a dollar.  If you don’t want to be paying for them forever, this is top priority. 

                When it comes to the car, they need to pay for gas, if they want to “joy ride”.   They also need to care for the car, like keeping it clean.  Throwing garbage in the back seat until it overflows into the front seat is not an option.  Spilling in the car and not cleaning it up is also not good.  If they can’t take care of the car, and fill it with gas at times, they don’t need to be using it.

                When it comes to school, studies have to be a priority.  One of the biggest gifts that parent give their children is a high school diploma.  It helps them start adulthood with goals and a base for success.  Without a diploma, it’s hard to find a good job, and start a career.  Whether a teen goes on to college or not, having a diploma can open some doors to a future and maybe a career.  The choice to go to college, or work in a trade (something very open and needed right now), should be their choice but encouragement is key to helping them find their own path. 

                There have been stories about kids who are still living with parents in their late 20’s, not working or paying rent.  How is that helpful for anyone?  Paying for kids beyond college is something I have never understood.  One of the things that haunted me when my kids were young was if something happened to me, how would they survive?  If I pay for them until they are 30, and something happens to me, how do they survive?  They need to learn to earn money, find an apartment, manage bills, and pay them too. Don’t handicap you kids by taking care of them past college age.  Let them fly and be confident about their own abilities. 

                Raising teens is hard.  It’s hard to watch them make mistakes, learn about love and loss, and struggle to manage money.  They learn valuable lessons from all of those things that help them now and well into the future.  Don’t rescue them when they make mistakes.  Let them manage the consequences.  They learn better when they are to manage the consequences.  Help them understand that planning is key, and if they can plan they can be successful.  It’s all part of being happy, for life.