Mental health isn’t just about adults and the trials that come with responsibility. With all the issues adults have, teens have issues as well, without the knowledge to manage them or the power to make changes to help their own mental health. They are at the mercy of the people around them and without stable, supportive caregivers, they can feel lost and alone, increasing depression and anxiety. Teens need support and guidance. They need to be heard if they are to be successful in life.

Over the years, I have worked with a lot of teens and tweens.  They struggled with what kind of student they are, discord at home, issues with friends, and other drama. They can become victims of dating violence, physical abuse, and sexual assault. They may have issues with drugs, or get into trouble with the law. This time affects life long goals, and is a time when they need someone to trust and help them with decisions. They don’t need judgement or to be ordered around. From middle school to high school, tweens and teens go through so much, and can get lost in the mess if parents aren’t paying attention.

As I got older and reflected on those years, I better understood what makes those years so difficult.  There are so many things that happen from about 6^th grade well into high school.  Friendships change from how they were in elementary school.  Bodies are changing and hormones are flowing, making most things more complicated.  School changes from having one teacher to having to juggle multiple teachers and keep track of assignments, not to mention having to get from one class to another without being late.  And if that isn’t enough, many teens are trying to better understand who they are and what they have to offer to the world.

The problem becomes simple.  They aren’t supposed to know all the answers yet, but sometimes it feels like they should know.  Teens are growing and learning and changing, and unfortunately the answers won’t come for a while.  But the pressures and feelings can get overwhelming and many teens suffer from adjustment issues that include anxiety and depression symptoms.  Self-esteem becomes an issue and drama, in this day and age, can keep teens from reaching their full potential, both in school and in life.

In talking with teens, I often talk about this information and reassure them that they don’t have to have the answers now.  When it comes to my own daughters, I chase them down when it feels like they are pulling away, and talk with them.  I listen mostly and that seems to help.  It’s normal for teens to questions their abilities, feel insecure, and struggle with self-esteem, but they also need to know that it won’t be like that forever.

In talking with teens in therapy, and even in talking with my own kids, we talk about how things are supposed to work.  They are suppose to learn all they can, while being supported by their parents.  They test their wings, fall flat on their face a few times, learn from their mistakes so when they fly from the nest later they can soar.  Many people are still defining themselves well into their twenties, and that’s okay.  The key is to understand that it will be okay.  All teens have talents and learning how to use those talents is a part of growing up.  If teens were supposed to know everything by high school, our lives would be very different.

So if you are a teen reading this article, follow the rules, but test yourself and your talents.  Find a healthy mentor to help you feel better about yourself, if you need positive feedback and support. Take this time to learn more about yourself and all the wonderful things you have to offer, even if you don’t think you have any at this moment.  I assure you that you do have many qualities that will help you be successful in life.  I haven’t met a teenager who didn’t.  Sometimes they just don’t know yet what it is, but it’s there.  Have fun, do well in school, make friends, and enjoy.  I will all be okay. Growing up is a part of being happy, for life.